IRC, a form of instant messaging, has produced some of the funniest quotes I’ve ever read. Below are some of the most appropriate quotes that make me laugh every single time I read them. I have edited some of the chats to eliminate inappropriate words.
 

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other. 

<DragonflyBlade21> A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

<jeebus> the “bishop” came to our church today
<jeebus> he was an impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

<_kr4m3r> so many criminals, its ridiculous
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, “sup?”
<foniks`> whatd u think they’d say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, “G`Day mate”

IronChef Foicite: well, there’s a lot of reasons
IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks
IronChef Foicite: and that’s if you leave them in water
IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty
IronChef Foicite: so that’s like saying
IronChef Foicite: “my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance”
IronChef Foicite: but a potato!
IronChef Foicite: potatos last forever, man
IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow stuff even if you just leave them in the sack
IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol
IronChef Foicite: but there’s more!
IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it!
IronChef Foicite: and that’s like saying “i have many ways in which I show my love for you”
IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they’re still awesome
IronChef Foicite: so that’s like saying “it doesn’t matter at all what you look like, I’ll still love you”

<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I’m back.

<omg its zack wtf> my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

<EyesofPrisms> and ou are an uytter newb
<KC48348751> dude
<KC48348751> how did that y move over like 12 characters

These are obviously just a few of the quotes that are floating around on the internet, and you can find many more on Bash.org. Also, bloodninja is also extremely funny in IRC, although his chats contain explicit sexual material. Look them up on Google if you want, but you have been warned.

1. karmenabis Says:
   May 21st, 2009 at 8:44 pm

   hahaha those are way cool man!